{"id":141,"date":"2013-05-15T13:46:47","date_gmt":"2013-05-15T13:46:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/?p=141"},"modified":"2013-05-15T13:46:47","modified_gmt":"2013-05-15T13:46:47","slug":"the-four-habits-that-form-habits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/?p=141","title":{"rendered":"The Four Habits that Form Habits…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"how<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My friend wants to work out more, but he has a hard time forming the habit (many of you might be familiar with this problem). From having to get dressed to go to the gym, to actually going to the gym, to the thought of a hard workout \u2026 our minds tend to put off the habit.<\/p>\n

The solution is exceedingly simple: just do three pushups. Or tell yourself you have to walk\/jog for just one minute.<\/p>\n

Make it so easy you can\u2019t say no.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, most people will think that\u2019s too easy, and tell themselves they have to do more than that. This advice is for other people! Unfortunately, it\u2019s this mindset that causes people to fail at habits \u2014 we think we can do more, despite past evidence to the contrary, and so we aspire to greatness. We try to climb Everest before we\u2019ve learned to walk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Learn the fundamentals of habits before you try to do the advanced skills.<\/strong> If I could convince people of that, I could get millions to change their habits, be healthier, simplify, procrastinate less, start creating amazing things.<\/p>\n

Today we\u2019re going to go over the fundamentals of habit \u2014 four key habits to form habits. If you can learn these four habits, you\u2019ll have the foundation to form pretty much any habit.<\/p>\n

Habit 1: Start Exceedingly Small<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another common habit that too few people actually do is flossing daily. So my advice is just floss one tooth the first night.<\/p>\n

Of course, that seems so ridiculous most people laugh. But I\u2019m totally serious: if you start out exceedingly small, you won\u2019t say no. You\u2019ll feel crazy if you don\u2019t do it. And so you\u2019ll actually do it!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the point. Actually doing the habit is much more important than how much you do.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you want to exercise, it\u2019s more important that you actually do the exercise on a regular basis, rather than doing enough to get a benefit right away. Sure, maybe you need 30 minutes of exercise to see some fitness improvements, but try doing 30 minutes a day for two weeks. See how far you get, if you haven\u2019t been exercising regularly. Then, if you don\u2019t succeed, try 1-2 minutes a day. See how far you get there.<\/p>\n

If you can do two weeks of 1-2 minutes of exercise, you have a strong foundation for a habit. Add another week or two, and the habit is almost ingrained. Once the habit is strong, you can add a few minutes here and there. Soon you\u2019ll be doing 30 minutes on a regular basis \u2014 but you started out really small.<\/p>\n

Try the flossing habit \u2014 try to floss every tooth every night, and see how far you get. You might succeed \u2026 but if you fail, try just one tooth per night and see how far you get. Your mileage will vary, but on average most people get farther with a habit when they start small.<\/p>\n

One glass of water a day. One extra vegetable. Three pushups. One sentence of writing a day. Two minutes of meditation. This is how you start a habit that lasts.<\/p>\n

Habit 2: Be Mindful of Negative Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most people will skip this habit, because they don\u2019t think it\u2019s necessary. Then they wonder why the habit failed.<\/p>\n

When one of my cousin quit smoking in 2005, he finally learned to watch my thoughts. He says;I saw that I had a lot of self-talk I wasn\u2019t aware of. My mind would start rationalizing the idea of smoking just one cigarette. \u201cOne won\u2019t hurt!\u201d \u201cWhy are you torturing yourself?\u201d \u201cIs this really worth it?\u201d \u201cJust give in, it\u2019s much easier.\u201d \u201cYou can\u2019t do this, it\u2019s too hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Think about those thoughts for a second. He continues; How many did I have that I wasn\u2019t aware of? How powerful were they, when I didn\u2019t realize they were there? How many times did they cause me to smoke when I had previously tried to quit? And how often do these kinds of thoughts act on you?<\/p>\n

The same thoughts happened when I tried to start running the next month \u2014 my mind would say, \u201cYou should stop now. It\u2019s too hard. You\u2019ll feel much better when you stop.\u201d And of course, thoughts like these are very tempting, very powerful.<\/p>\n

Then I started to learn to eat healthier, and repeatedly failed because I would give in to chips and pizza and ice cream. My mind would say, \u201cYou\u2019ve been doing good, and this food is your reward!\u201d Or, \u201cWhy are you denying yourself pleasure \u2014 life isn\u2019t supposed to be hard!\u201d<\/p>\n

I learned to let these thoughts go. They are just thoughts \u2014 they don\u2019t control me. They are just things that happen, like a leaf falling from a tree as I run by. Interesting phenomena, but not a determination of my life.<\/p>\n

Watch the thoughts. Learn to let them go. Get good at discomfort. Triumph over the childish selfish scared mind.My cousin life is different and can testify to this..
\nHabit 3: Savor the Habit<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is the converse of Habit 2, but just as important. Your new habit isn\u2019t some sort of sacrifice, some sort of chore you need to get through to get to your better life.<\/p>\n

Your new habit is your better life.<\/p>\n

The new habit, whatever it is, should be something you enjoy. Otherwise, don\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n

If you want to eat healthier, learn to enjoy the taste of this delicious, fresh, healthy food. An apple can be just as delicious as any junk food snack, if you pay attention and savor it.<\/p>\n

If you are exercising, pay close attention to and enjoy the moving of the body, the feeling of exertion, the flow of blood through your brain, the focus.<\/p>\n

If you are writing, sit with the words and enjoy the quiet concentration, the exhilaration of creation.<\/p>\n

Learn to enjoy the habit, and the habit will become its own reward. The goal isn\u2019t some distant achievement, but the process itself.<\/p>\n

Habit 4: Have a Plan for When You Falter<\/strong>..<\/p>\n

This is really key<\/strong> \u2014 I can\u2019t count how many people I know who have done really well with their habit for 6-7 days, and then when some disruption happened (it\u2019s incredibly common), and then never re-started.<\/p>\n

Get in the habit of re-starting when you falter.<\/p>\n

How do you do that?<\/strong> Get some accountability \u2014 promise a friend or your spouse that you\u2019ll pay $25 or Ksh 300 if you miss your new habit two days in a row \u2026 and then double that the next day ($50 or ksh 600), and double that if you miss four days in a row ($100), and double every day you miss in a row after that. Or promise wash their car if you miss three days in a row. Tell everyone on Facebook that you\u2019ll personally clean their bathrooms if you miss three days in a row.<\/p>\n

Missing one day in a row is not the end of the habit. Missing two days isn\u2019t great, but you can recover. Miss three days, and the habit is shot. So don\u2019t allow yourself to miss three days, and try your damndest not to even miss two days.
\nForming the Four Habits<\/p>\n

So how do you form the habits that form all other habits?<\/p>\n

As simply as possible.<\/p>\n

Choose one incredibly easy habit to do in the next two weeks. Floss one tooth. Drink one glass of water. Eat one fruit. Exercise or meditate or write or do yoga for 2 minutes a day. Just two minutes.<\/p>\n

Then apply all four habits to those two minutes, every day. You\u2019ll start to learn how to form a new habit, and that\u2019s a skill that will pay off for a lifetime.<\/p>\n

You can do it…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  My friend wants to work out more, but he has a hard time forming the habit (many of you might be familiar with this problem). From having to get dressed to go to the gym, to actually going to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[32,34,58,43,37,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,55,52,53,54,38,60,42,35,36,51,4,59,56,40,41,7,39,33,57],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=141"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":144,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141\/revisions\/144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dolphinsgroup.co.ke\/sam-muchai\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}